Facebook. Friend or Foe ?

Facebook : Friend or Foe

I wrote this article circa one year ago and it was published in The Daily Record.
Being something like 12 000 miles from home, its a a Godsend, I still believe many of the points I raised to be pertinent. I did go through a bit of a cull, much like chucking out old grey underwearand it felt great. When I can get online I only go on Facebook to catch uo with friends. I don't read gossip or news websites. I ask locals for directions and just the other day deleted one particular individual that has this to say...


"  you're so lucky and stop bragging about it" 


You create your own luck, I have always worked hard and contributed to those around me.I am not bragging, only sharing. Bragging to me is about being gifted a handbag that cost £3500 and sharing that on FB. I could do a lot with that money here..a friggin handbag. Oh dear. Happy for her, but really is that what happiness is about ?


Anyway! Here is the orginal article.



Chances are you’re on it, if you’re not, your colleagues are, your boss probably is, perhaps your ex and that ‘friend’ from school you weren’t hugely keen on is and your distant ( very ) relatives are, as well as the majority of the acquaintances you’ve bumped into along the way.

The facts.
19 million of us in the UK are on Facebook.
400 million people use it worldwide and according to a recent pole in the UK, 3 in every 4 users avoid adding their boss as a 'friend' out of fear that their actions on the site could cost them their job.

According to FB’s own statistics, 50% of active users log on to Facebook in any given day. The average user has 130 friends.
People spend over 500 billion minutes per month on Facebook.

I’m an avid user, you could say a fan of Facebook and I have to admit to being somewhat perplexed of late, as to whether it’s a friend or foe.  It’s been my ‘friend’ for almost two and a half years and like some relationships, they inevitably run their course and come to an end.

Facebook, for me used to be about social networking, about catching up with friends every now and again, the types in my experience that you don’t call or text regularly or dare to email at work, in my mind when you’re on Facebook you know it’s a social thing, it’s a fun and frivolous way to communicate – poking, uploading pics and links and tagging people in embarrassing photos and being invited to the odd party. It’s fun isn’t it?

I have in excess of 3000 friends ( ridiculous I know, ). Unbelievable, especially since I have never ever promoted it on air or in print and more and more I’m being marketed to and approached by complete, random strangers.
I do use it in support of my eco movement Say No To Plastic once every few months but everyday I log on it now feels like bombardment!

Most invitations now automatically mean I hit the ignore button ( sorry ). If it’s a real friends birthday, surely a phone call or text or email or even handwritten card is more personal than a status update to one and all as to where your birthday celebrations are, it’s a bit impersonal and a tad lazy!?

When it came to friends in my book, it  used to be quality not quantity. Some of my ‘famous and or infamous’ and ‘influential’ friends are on FB. Sarah Cawood, Nichola Joss, Susie Pearl, Jack McConnell,  Jenni Falconer, Josie D’Arby, Nick Frost, Edgar Wright,
Robert Cavanah, Sarah Heaney, Fran Healy, Noel Gallagher,
Sara McDonald, Danny McNamara, Fern Cotton ( I could namedrop further but I won’t ) all update their own pages and message me every now and again and the number of my ‘friends’ who’ve attempted to befriend them through FB is ridiculous! It’s embarrassing really. That’s the thing, some people will only befriend you for your contacts or to see what you and your pals are up to, the voyeuristic element. Not cool.

Some of my real friends as opposed to virtual ones have told me “I have a love hate relationship, laden with a mild addiction. It makes me happy and frustrated at the same time.”  Another said “I’m not on FB and I’ve friends who on longer bother with me because they can't make the effort pick up the phone or even write an email anymore as it is so much easier just to change their profile or make an all round announcement about their lives. It is the height of laziness and has turned them into not very nice people if you ask me!” A girlfriend sobbed “ I can’t believe he’s going out with her so soon after we split and he’s parading photos of them all over Facebook!” She found out from snooping on FB. Not healthy.

Facebook is big business. Gordon White Managing Director, Podcastmatters tells me “Used properly, Facebook can be an enormous friend to a business or organisation.  With so many people in the UK using social media it is essential that companies have a presence and the ability to engage with their customers, Facebook offers the best opportunity to do this.”

He adds “Unfortunately many organisations use it badly and don't try to engage with customers;  simply pushing information in the traditional way does not work in social media, it is about developing, and being part of, a community.”

“Even those who accept the need to engage are making basic mistakes in the way they use Facebook which could lead to the loss of their entire community at some point down the line.  It is a valuable tool when used properly but, it could cause problems for many organisations if they don't fully understand how it works and how to use it.”

The Politics of Facebook.
Wendy Alexander is a FB friend of mine, (we have actually met on a number of occassions) and in the last few weeks I’ve had a number of requests from MSP’s & MPs to accept their friendship or be invited to become a fan.

Less than 48hours ago Nick Clegg ranked above musician Ian Brown (41,414 fans), and fellow politician Boris Johnson (39,929 fans). Figures from online measurement service Famecount shows that since the election campaign began at the start of this month, the Liberal Democrat leader has seen his popularity grow by 970 per cent.

Before the campaign began Mr. Clegg could only round up 4,500 fans, though following two live debates on TV his Facebook page has in excess of 45,000 fans. David Cameron follows in second place with  30,000 or so fans, while Gordon Brown operates within the Number 10 Downing street brand and therefore does not have a personalised page.

I don’t know about you but I’m feeling a bit engulfed by this FB friend of mine and questioning whether or not my relationship with FB will continue. It seems to be spiralling out of control.
20 something gorgeous girl about town Felicity Lamb has her own experience to share. “ When I found out my Facebook had been hacked it was disappointing to say the least... as I had spent time networking for work and social times. Waking up on a Sunday morning to find out everything had gone overnight was a bit of a shock..... In fact I thought it was a bad dream after too many G&Ts the night before.”

She adds “On contacting "The facebook team" to try and amend things I got no response what so ever and therefore had to start from scratch yesterday. As well as losing many friends I had met whilst travelling and all their contact numbers, I lost all of my photographs which was a little sad as it was nice to flick through them occasionally on rainy days and reminisce in those lushting times.”

It’s not all bad. ”On a positve note, it happened at a time when I had a few deadlines for University so that was a bonus not being able to jump on Facebook every so often here and there, (which we all do) I find it can be quite distracting and also i have been able to tidy up my friends and get rid of a few too!”

To finish, Felicity said “On the whole it made me realise that anyone really important to you will be in your phonebook and all that matters are your real friends anyway of course its great for networking but it is not the be all and end all.”

Let’s investigate the pro and cons.

PROS

It’s free and everyone has access to one.
Nuff said.
It’s easy to use.
It must be, some of my school friends mums use it regularly.
It’s probably the best thing to use to reconnect with people. No matter where you are in the world it’s amazing for long-distance use. It’s even made easier via the ‘networks’ system. It might be a bit obvious, but every friend you have, you’ve known through someone else. Once you understand this and the ‘People who you may know’ tool, you’re on a roll to reconnecting away.

It’s a simple and effective, free marketing tool.
Invite friends for free to your events and to recommend your products/services.

It’s good for your health.
According to New Scientist, apparently you feel happier when you have a physical representation, and therefore know for sure, that you have friends.

Cons

It’s bad for your health.
Psychologist sources ( MSN Today and Biologist to name just two ) argue defiantly that it’s bad for your health because apart from the obvious fact that you’re staring at a computer screen and hurting your eyes, you’re also damaging real social relationships which actually require person to person contact.

It’s impersonal.
You didn’t remember her birthday. Facebook told you it was today. (This is true, although it still creates a feeling of it being personal because you have to actually go through that amazing effort of clicking on the person’s name, writing ‘happy birthday’ or doing as I do and post a link to Stevie Wonder’s video on you tube for the track Happy Birthday! and clicking ‘post’) You didn’t really remember they were off on holiday to the Maldives for two weeks, their statuses told you so. Did you really want to know how he was doing post split, or were you conveniently looking at his profile, and thought you might as well ask? A phone call would make these things personal. The ease and accessibility of Facebook lessens the actual intention.

It’s fake and superficial.
Your Facebook profile is a representation of how you want to appear to everyone and their dog. People have admitted the sense of competition that takes over when they go on Facebook; whether it being how many friends they have, to how many event shots they have been in (for some reason, people assume that if you don’t have many, you basically never get out), to how many people write on their walls, all a measure of perceived popularity.

Two words; internet bullying.
It happens. Fact

It’s voyeuristic.
It says rather a lot when ‘Facebook stalking’ actually becomes an official term. And when it makes the news when someone dumps their boyfriend using Facebook. There are no boundaries to the invasion of privacy, as shown when Facebook itself claimed to own our photos and any other content or information we had posted on the site. As we all know, there was a public outcry about this, and Facebook backed down.

 




To FB or not to FB.
The thing is, no matter how much I have negative feelings about it and what it turns people into, like everyone else, I probably rely on it far too much. I’d be left out of the loop on lots of fronts and it seems such a waste of time to delete all the pictures, banter and links I’ve spent hours and hours sharing with my friends all over the world. I also like, from time to time, being able to see what peeps are up to, without actually having to speak with them.

To those without Facebook or whom haven’t signed up to it yet and to those who’ve deleted theirs a pat on the back. Meanwhile, I’m off to seriously ponder deleting more than a few ‘friends’ and pick up a pen or the telephone to properly connect with my pals and meet them for a real cuppa.